Closer to Christ

About 10 years ago I remember going to a relief society activity and we were talking about Christ. Someone shared the book 21 days closer to Christ. I felt really strongly that I should read it. I did and I wrote about my experiences on my blog.

With this whole new church centered home, I have been really struggling on how to incorporate it into our home. I will admit the last few years I have really felt myself lacking in my testimony. I know I have one, but I just feel really blah. I think it is because I am not imersing myself in church related material. Every since we have moved from Sandy, I have been on the relief society committee. Where before in my other wards I have been a teacher and that required me reading lessons and preparing. I have been lazy with trying to get myself to do it.

While talking with a friend a bit ago, we were both saying how we don't feel as close to christ as we want to be. We feel like we are good people, but not great. We know there is always room for improvement, but it was more than that. We feel like we are lacking in our potential. As we were talking the 21 days closer to Christ book popped into my head. I don't even remember the last time I have thought about it. I told my friend about it and told her we should do it together.

I had bought the book 10 years ago, but for the life of me I couldn't find it. As I was searching the library for one, I saw that this same author came out with a new one at the end of last year. It is called Closer to Christ by Emily Belle Freeman. She includes 21 days and her other book becoming His together.

I am challenging myself for myself to read this book and become closer to Christ. I will be writing down my thought daily, but will do it all as one post instead of posting one a day. Here we go!!

Day 1: April 18

The invitation.... COME (read about the fishermen in Mark 1: 16-18 and John 1:38-39.

The journey.... determine what fills your nets. Are everyday challenges such as time constraints, demands from work or home, or feeling of inadequacy or fear holding you back from developing a relationship with Christ. Today try to listen for the quiet invitation from the Lord to come.

I feel like what is holding me back from filling my net is my feeling of that I am needed else where. I don't take time for myself. I am trying to better myself. Today I woke up at 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I tend to wake up and my mind starts buzzing with all sorts of things. I didn't get tired until about 6 and as I was trying to go back to sleep, Lyndin wakes up. I am dragging today. I wanted to stay home and veg all day. But then I got an email saying that I had books ready to pick up at the library that I had on hold. Before I went up I received a text from my friend that wanted to do this challenge with me asking about what the title of the book was again. I decided that I would look to see if the library had it, and to my surprise they did. They had just received the book and had it down at the circulation desk, but no one had it on hold. I felt really strongly that I was meant to start this book today. It was my quiet invitation to come to the Lord.

Yesterday, I had fasted for a few friends that are going through some tough times. One just delivered twins 6 weeks early and in doing so found out that one of the twins has a genetic disorder and will more than likely die soon. Another friend just found out that she is pregnant with quadruplets and has been super sick. She also has 3 little kids at home that need her. Another friend is deciding if they want to adopt a child and are going through the process of being chosen by a birth mother. My sister just miscarried and is mourning the loss of that sweet baby now too.

My heart was so troubled and heartbroken for all these dear friends of mine. I felt prompted to fast for them and asked that they would be able to find peace. And with that, that I would know how to help them find that peace.

I think this was the catalyst to me starting this book today. I was in a frame of mind that I am turning my heart ache and troubles to the Lord to help me start carrying. I am a prideful person and also very independent. I think for the last while, I have felt like I can carry my load on my own. I am getting so bogged down though. I'm needed help. I am now humbling myself and saying I need that help. That's when changes happen is when you admit you need help. I am dropping what I have been holding onto and taking the head to come and see.


Day 2: April 23

We spent the weekend with my mom and siblings. That is why I am a few days behind.

The invitation... covenant. Read the account of the Last Supper in John 13: 4-15.

The Journey.. As you go through this day, find ways that you can bring honor to Christ's name by letting the walk of your life exemplify Him. On this day, try to remember Him always.

This Twenty one day journey will introduce different names of the Savior. Every chapter contains one name that relates to a scripture story or gospel principle. Take a moment each day to reflect on how each name describes a way that He blesses your life.

 I didn't read this passage until bout 2:00 in the afternoon. I had finished a book earlier that morning about goal setting. As I had both thoughts about Christ and goals going through my mind, I thought I'd make it a goal to come closer to Christ and to truly be more mindful of him. Serving more selflessly. As I read about the account of Him washing the disciples feet, I thought about how can I serve more selflessly. Yesterday (I am writing this the next morning the 24th), I babysat a friends little girl while she went to counseling, I colored a picture with Emmy, I had a two hour notice of taking in dinner to someone in our ward that just had a baby, Addi and her friend had a rough afternoon at school and so we went and got everyone ice cream right after school,  I had soccer and softball games for the kids, and then Ty had young mens. The thought came to me from the previous chapter in this book about her friend that had been told she was worth it. I took that saying with me today. Each and every one of these people I helped or spent time with today was worth it. When Christ was washing his disciples feet, he knew they were worth it. When he died on the cross for us, he knew we were worth it. If I want to serve like him, I have to view everyone as worth it.

Day 3 April 24

The invitation... Keep

The journey... Do you have a written copy of your testimony of Christ? Take time to write one today. You might want to include your belief in Him, your gratitude for Him, or an experience that has strengthened your testimony of Him.

Obtain and keep a journal of your twenty one day journey, recording the treasures and discoveries that come to you as you follow this path.


My testimony of Christ has changed since the last time I wrote it down. Over the years my testimony has changed because I believe in his attributes in a way that I didn't before. I have always believed that he atoned and died for me, but I have grown to see the way he lived his life was amazing.  The way he lived his life is a way that I want to try to mimic. He loved everyone because he saw that everyone has potential. I know that he sees potential in me and I am trying to improve his view of me by trying to get closer to him. As I do that I know His attributes will start to come through in my actions. He chose to enjoy life and be happy. Being happy is a state of mind. As I am writing this it has been a pretty chaotic afternoon with Emmy. She was super emotional and irrational. We had a few yelling matches because she was being super demanding. It wears on me mentally and as I'm writing this I know happiness is a state of mind, and I'm not in the mind state to be happy. I'm exhausted. But I know because of Christ I can try again tomorrow. Tomorrow's are a way to help us improve what we lacked today. Tomorrow I'm going to try again to be happy, and hope it lasts throughout the whole day. I know that Christ loves us through our faults and I feel like he wants us to just keep trying our best. Whatever our best may be. Our best is different for everyone and we need to make sure we are comparing our bests with others.


Day 4 April 25:

The invitation... Search

Read the account of Jairus in Matthew 9: 18-26

The Journey

Think back on a time in your life when you had to search for the Savior to find strength beyond your own. Try to remember to process you went through in that search. Was it Scripture study, more meaningful prayers, or another avenue that led you to Christ?

Stretch again. Apply one of those principles today.


When Lyndin was so sick as a baby, I don't think I have relied on the atonement and prayer as fervently that I should up to that point. I had to put all of my faith in the doctors and in Heavenly Father's plan. I knew she wasn't on her death bed, but if she hadn't had gotten the help she did I do know she would have passed away. As we were in the hospital with her, we were able to receive the Sacrament. The spirit was so strong in the room as we partook. We were renewing our covenants and putting our faith in Christ.

My faith today was put to use by patiently waiting for an answer after prayer. I have had a prayer in my heart of asking for inspiration on what type of goal I want. I had a prayer in my heart when Lyndi was sick that she would get better. Prayer and faith go hand in hand. Jarius knew that by faith that his daughter would be healed and I did too. Lyndin received a priesthood blessing. Just like Jarius' daughter did. All we have to do is have faith and ask for help.

Today as I went about my day, I got the impression that for a goal. I have been pondering for a few days on what type of goal I am wanting to do. I've decided I wanted to spiritually grow like I said, but I also wanted to do another one. As I was preparing things for lunch I was thinking about my friends mom that just set up a scholarship fund in memory of her husband. I thought to myself that is so cool, I want to do that when I get older. Then my next thought was why can't I right now? I became so excited and started doing some research immediately. My great grandma Zora was a teacher, both my Grandma and Grandpa Massey were teachers, Ty's parents were both teachers, I have aunts that are teachers and Ty does as well. It all started to click that this is what I wanted my goal to be. I want to help someone achieve their dreams.

Day 5 April 27:

The invitation... Discover

Read the account of the Samaritan woman in John 4: 1-42.

The Journey: Prepare to receive a simple learning moment, a "pearl in the field" as you go through your day. Let your search be constant. Try to discover, "in every hour," some heavenly blessing that will bring you closer to Christ. A treasure- God's gold.

I spent the day watching Addi play softball. I tried to make it a point to be mindful of things going on around me. I cheered on her team, I gave out compliments, I gave out snack and treats, I put sunscreen on her teammates, I had meaningful conversations with others, I watch out for other children, I went to see a good friend and family member I haven't seen in a while, I got ice cream for grandpa, I had meaningful conversations with Ty, I gave loves to all my kids before bed, and I went to bed with a prayer for others in my heart. It was a day full of small acts of service, but I was being mindful of my actions and wanting to help.


Day 6 April 28:

The invitation... Hope

Read the story of the blind man found in John 9: 1-38

The Journey... Attempt to analyze through different eyes a situation that has been troubling you. Pray that the Savior will touch your eyes so that you will see what you need to do differently.
Now take some time to write down some of the good things that have come to you through Christ. How does recognizing these blessings bring you hope?


I have been seriously pondering what has been troubling me. As of right now I am not super troubled. I have been about other situations and most of them are my relationships with others in my family.  I think I have had it stuck in my mind that their ways will eventually lean towards my ways. But as I read about my enneagram and that I'm a helper and that others have different ways of thinking and doing things, my mind was opened. Not everyone is going to think like me or act like me in situations. While reading about my enneagram it said that one of my faults is that since I am so in tune with others need or feel, that I assume others will do that for me too. I hadn't realized that is how I am. I have been waiting for others to take care of me like I do for them. Now that I have had that realization I think I will be a lot more compassionate and also more vocal about my needs or troubles.

Some good things that have come through Christ are things like knowing that my happiness is genuine. Knowing that I have my family with me forever. Knowing that I have chances to be better because of the Atonement. Knowing that he does want a relationship with me, but I have to be committed to the relationship too. Knowing that his attributes and trying to mimic those will show me how to live a happy life. I feel like hope goes hand in hand with happiness. Hope leads you to happiness. When you are sad, you always hope for a better day the next day. Hope also goes along with faith. You have faith and hope that things will improve, and things will get better when you are in the middle of a trail.

Day 7 April 29:

The invitation.... Pray
Learn to recognize the steady rhythm of the One who accompanies you along the race by reading Moroni 7:26.

The Journey..
Ponder the five characteristics of prayer given in this verse. How will remembering these make your prayers more meaningful? choose one step that you would like to focus on.
As you kneel to pray tonight, thank your Heavenly Father for HIs Son, Jesus Christ. Share with him the reason why you are grateful for the Savior. Let Him know what your knowledge of Christ means to you.

I chose to focus on the phrase faith believing that ye shall receive. I think when I pray I say my please and thanks you's and then carry on. When I'm really struggling, I will pray specifically, but I don't think I have been exercising my faith that I should be. That when I do pray that I truly use my faith to know that I am being heard and that what I'm asking for can be received.

 I did not pray about the Savior last night. Yesterday afternoon, I was feeling a lot of anxiety that was really effecting my mood. I want to be in a better place mentally when I chose to express my thanks about the Savior. I know praying would have helped my mood, but I want to be mentally prepared for something like that.

Day 8 April 30

The invitation... Listen
Read the parable of the Good Shepard in John 10:1-18

The Journey: Think about how you have learned to recognize the voice of the Shepard. How has His voice come to you? Make a list of the moments when you have heard that voice and have heeded the call. Some ideas may include going to the temple, visiting someone in need, attending church, studying the scriptures, preparing a lesson, praying with a special purpose, or listening to a prophet.
Find one way to hear His voice today.

I find his voice when I am in the temple. I find it when I let my mind be still and try to become intune with myself and his voice. I find it when I get the those random thoughts to do something for someone. Ever since conference hearing the phrase, never turn a kind thought away. I have really tried hard to act on those thoughts.

 I once again had a busy day and knew that I would really need to hone in and think about my thoughts and deeds. Addi had a track meet that morning that went into the early afternoon. I had my neighbor watch Lyndin and she is going through a little bit of a rough moment. I was there to listen to her and truly listen and not try to give advice. Later that night we had a relief society activity and I tried to make new friends and also lend a listening ear, or had a meaningful conversation with friends. I think hearing his voice can be different in different situations. Sometimes someone just needs to know that they are cared about. They need to know you are genuine and that you value their friendship.

Day 9 october 22:

The Invitation...follow
Read the account of Kind Benjamin's address in Mosiah 2 and focus on verses 5-6

The journey...
What counsel do you remember most from the last general conference? Glance through the Ensign to help you recall some of your favorite talks. Write down the counsel given and place it somewhere that you will see it often. How can following that counsel strengthen your testimony of Jesus? What is one way you can apply inspired counsel to your life today?

It has been a long while since I have opened this book. I have had it sitting next to my night stand every day. I don't really have a reason of why I stopped reading it. I suppose I didn't take the time daily to do it. But as of lately I have felt that I need to open it and start again.

It is not a coincidence that the last day I ended on was one about conference and we just had the fall session of conference 3 weeks ago. It was a different type of conference for our family. Usually we are busy doing things on Saturday and then listen really well on Sunday. I got a knock on our door the Thursday night before conference. It happened to be the 2 elder missionaries that we had fed dinner about 3 weeks before. They asked if they could come watch conference at our house on Saturday. I knew that Ty had plans to help out a neighbor with ripping out some of their yard that morning, but I also felt like if the missionaries felt comfortable in our home then we need to open it up for them. We have never had missionaries in our home for conference before and it was a humbling experience for me to have them here. They came for the afternoon session.

On Friday before conference I get a text from my cousins wife Elisa that lives in Vernal asking if her, her daughter, and niece could stay at our house Saturday night after they went to the Women's broadcast. I of course said yes. Then about 2 hours later, I get a text from my neighbor if we could move the general conference neighborhood breakfast to our home since it was going to be cold that morning. I of course said yes. I felt really overwhelmed for about 2 hours because it all came on at once. But the weekend turned out great. We invited the missionaries to come back over for breakfast and my cousins wife left before it started. Throughout the weekend we had about 60 people in our home. Ty told me that this is why we built a house this size is so we can have people in our home. It was nice to see so many of our friends and family comfortable in our home.

During conference I felt strongly that I needed to head the prophets counsel of reading the book of mormon before the next session of conference in April. I have listened to it almost every day since. It has made a difference. I feel bad when I don't get in my listening of the book. I figured I would listen to it because it would help me stay committed. Reading it is sometimes daunting for me. When I started listening to the introduction, I was filled with the spirit. It is a true book and has many things for us to learn. I know the prophet wants us to head the counsel that is given in this precious book and I feel strongly that I am needing this right now.

Some different promptings have followed me around the past couple weeks. I had a dream where ty and I met President Nelson in the temple and started having a genuine conversation with him. I woke up thinking where did that come from? I also was in the temple around the middle of the month with the Phillips and Ty. I was the first one to enter the celestial room out of our entire session. No one else was in there with me for a few minutes and I was enjoying the serenity in there. Ty was the next one to enter and as he entered I had the feeling that I would be waiting for him to enter heaven. When I felt that in the temple I felt peace. When I told him about it the next night as we were getting ready for bed, I started to cry. I told him what I had felt and what prompting had come about that it would be me that goes first and that I'd be waiting for him. He didn't really know what to say. He said that is not something I was expecting to hear. He was quiet for a bit and said well I don't know how I feel about that, let's just hope it is something that happens in 50 years or so. So I'm not sure what's going to happen, but life is a day to day journey and today is a gift. I know this doesn't all fall into the category of this topic, but I also felt that I needed to write it down and this is the best place to do it.

Day 10: Oct. 23

The invitation... to stand

Read Luke 22: 31-32

The journey... When you see the battle raging, where do you see yourself in the fight? Consider your church calling, your role as a parent, or your role as a friend. Do you give some, or do you give all? Find one way that you can strengthen someone today.

I didn't read today's invitation until later in that afternoon. It was one of those days that started out busy was busy for a while. I have had many opportunities to strengthen friends today though. I find that is how I give my all is to my love ones when they are going through trials. I try my hardest to be there for them and try to show them that I love them. A lot of close friend have been going through some serious trials right now. One friend lost one of her newborn twins when the other one survived, another friend lost 4 of her babies, another friend found out she has cancerous tumor, my sister had a miscarriage, another family in our ward lost their little 4 year old to an extreme accident, another family in our old ward in Sandy lost their 5 year old daughter to cancer, and I feel like every where I look someone I know is going through some sort of heart ache.

My friend that lost one of her twin girls has been on my mind a lot this week. It has been 6 months. And in my grief class I took, they told me usually a relapse happens about 6-8 months. I reached out her earlier in the week and asked if she was ok and if there was anything I could do to help her. This morning I went to a cookie shop and bought her some cookie to take over to her after I picked emmy up from dance. (Ila has kids that are my kids ages) While I was out running around in that hour, I got a text from Ila asking if we wanted to go to the park with them in about 30  minutes. I told her that I would love to go. We went and I told her she was on my mind and that I was going to stop by to see her today. She said this morning she woke up and said to herself.. I just need a good talk with Chelsie. So we sat and talked and she said she has been missing Sarah lately. She was able to talk and I was able to listen. It was needed on both accounts.

My other friend just found out late last week that she has a tumor and that she needs to have surgery. Today they were doing more tests and scans for her. I reached out to her last night and extended my love to her and that I was on her side cheering her on. I also fasted this morning for her and that she could be comforted no matter the outcome. She found out that she is clear besides the tumor.

I find that I care very deeply for those that are going through trials. I hope that they can feel my love for them and that they know I care. I feel like that is how I can make my stance in the battle is making sure love is extended to those around me. My family is included in that. I care when they are sad, or hurt.

Day 11... focus

The invitation.. Read the accounts of Peter's focus on Christ in Matt. 14: 22-33 and John 21:1-19.

The Journey.. Today remember to focus on Christ. Allow Him to become part of your conversations, your celebrations, your teaching moments, and your thoughts. Long to be near Him.

As I read Peter's account I really was drawn to when he was slipping because he was scared, but yet he called out for help. Jesus was right there to help him. I think a lot of the time I am stubborn and think I can do things by myself and that I don't need help. Today was a rough day for me. I couldn't quite get out of my downer mood. I think all the emotional things I have gone through this week caught up to me. I text Ty and asked him to come home early if he could because I didn't want to be alone. He did come home about 4:30 and it was nice to receive a hug. Sometimes people don't know that you are scared, hurting, sad, or happy. We need to put a voice to those feelings like Peter did to Jesus. We need to voice those to Jesus and to also those around us. That's when we can get help and start to re focus.

Day 12.. oct 24...change

The invitation... read the account of the lepers in Luke 17:11-19

The journey... identify a change that you would like to make in your own life. It could be something amiss in your family, your work, your relationships, or an individual weakness. Write down a plan that will enable you to make that change. Approach the Lord in prayer and ask for His help.

This one was hard for me. It was hard for me to figure out what I wanted to change in my life. I pondered it most of the day. I think I want to change my relationship with Ty's mom. It has been pretty strained since June. It is both of us having a little too much pride. We think differently on lots of things and I think it got to the point where we both lost patience with one another. That is my plan is to pray for true patience with her and that my heart can be softened a bit. She is part of our family and family is important. So I need to work on making her feel important.

Day 13..oct 25 reflect

Read Isaiah 50:10-11.

The journey.. write down some ways that you have been able to turn to the Lord for direction and support. Write down some of the way you have learned to trust Him. Today find one way to share your testimony of these two principles with someone who is struggling.

This challenge has been on my mind for the past few days. I didn't read on Sunday, but it was still on my mind. Some of the ways I have turn to Him for support is when we are looking for a direction in our life. I have turned to Him for when we have moved, when we have faced a job change for Ty, when I have loved ones going through hard times. I turn to him for peace and for comfort I think the most. We turn to him for direction, but a lot of the time I feel like I am heading in the right direction and just need it confirmed that we are doing what we are suppose to be doing. We had the missionaries over for lunch after church yesterday and he shared a scripture about men having joy in their homes. He said that he can feel that we do have joy in our home. That was a huge compliment. I feel like this topic for the day is really broad and it can go so many directions that I wasn't sure what way to turn. I do recognize that I do turn to Him for direction, but I think direction is different for everyone.

Day 14... oct 28..do your best

Read the story of Martha found in Luke 10: 38-42

The journey.. remember who you are. What are you best at? What gift can you offer? How can that gift bring more joy to the people around you? Choose to give the better part today. Find one way that you can use your gift to serve someone else's need.

I think one of my best gifts I've been given is being a good friend. I listen to people, I care about what they are going through, and I love making them happy. I am a helper and I love to help. I have had people tell me how did you know that I needed "x" today. And most of the time is it me saying a thought like.. you've been on my mind lately so I thought I'd bring you a little something today. A lot of the time that statement leads into what's going on with them. I do love listening to people. One thing I have learned is people just want to be validated in their feelings. Saying something like I'm sorry you are going through that, or that just stinks are some of the best phrases to say. I didn't have many experiences to use my talent yesterday, but I was able to ask my friends that are going through some rough things if they needed help with anything. I think sometimes just saying that phrase too is enough to tell them that you care and that you are there if they need too vent. Having other people needs above my own is sometimes a gift and sometimes a vault. I need to make sure to give it a good balance.

Day 15.. oct.29..be still

Read the story of Zacchaeus found in Luke 19:1-6

The journey... first, find your sycamore tree, or the quiet place you can go to focus on the Lord. Second, make haste and invite the Lord into your home. How will you prepare to receive Him?

My quiet place is the temple. A couple years ago as I was struggling with a bit of postpardum  depression I was yearning for a place of quiet. I went to the temple to find some peace and also some quiet. One I finished my session I walked into the celestial and sat down on one of the chairs and started to cry because of the quiet I felt. It was the quiet I had been yearning for. The quiet that I needed to regroup, to recharge, to feel my cup of the spirit. I started to laugh at my self because I was crying at how quiet it was. I realized that my soul needed the quiet that only the temple can give and that I need that often.

To have him in my home I need to do better with having family prayer. We used to go to bed every night with saying family prayers. I'm not quite sure what happened for that to stop, but I keep getting the nudge that it needs to be happening again. I need to make it happen.

Day 16...oct 30.... develop faith

Read the account of the pleading father in Mark 9:17-27

The journey... take time to identify and write down an area in which you feel you are not enough. This could include challenges that are physical, temporal, spiritual, or emotional. Take it to the Lord. Plead your case in prayer. Don't be afraid to acknowledge your weakness and ask for greater faith. Then be still and listen to the promptings that will come.

This challenge had me stumped for a couple hours. I was pondering on what I wanted to change and as I was folding laundry that thought came to me about my family. I don't tell my family that I genuinely love them often enough. We say I love you, but I think it's out of habit. As I was thinking about things I could thank them for teaching me.. it came pretty easily to me. I also had the strong prompting to tell them. I thanked my dad for teaching me that everyone needs a friend. I thanked my mom for teaching me how to be a helper. I thanked my sister for teaching me how to share because her and I shared a bedroom almost all my life. I thanked my brother for teaching me how to push through your trials and keep on going. I thanked Ty for coming to sleep with me every night this week when he easily could have fallen asleep with the kids. It put me in a pretty solum mood the rest of the day. As I was talking to my sister, I told her that if I were to leave this life tomorrow, or if one of my family members were to leave would they know that I love them? I know they would, but I wanted them to know the deep love. I want to be better at showing my genuine love to my loved ones.

Day 17... oct 31... give all

Read the account of the rich young man in Mark 10:17-22 and the widow's mite in Mark 12:41-44.

The journey.. think of someone you know who has given all in service to the Lord. What lesson can you learn from that person? How can you be more like him or her? Commit today to give all you have in your service to the Lord. Choose one area where you feel you could give more. What changes will this require in your daily routine?

This journey still has me a bit stumped. I have pondered this question of who has given all in service to the Lord for the last 4 days. Granted I have had a lot going on in those 4 days, but the thought was never too far away. The person that I keep coming back to is President Thomas S. Monsen. I know I don't know him personally, but just hearing about his service he gave to the church for more than half his life is really quite impressive. Being called as a bishop at age 22 is remarkable and then from that point on he was serving some where in the church. I think the lesson that I keep thinking about is that he did it. He did it even when it was hard. He did it even when his kids were young. He did it when he probably didn't have much experience in life. He did it because he loved the Lord.

I think the change that I want to do daily is having the spirit with me throughout the day. By doing that I need to be being mindful of promptings. I need to be in the scriptures and I need to keep my mind clear. I have been trying really hard to have listened to my scriptures before noon and that seems to keep my mind clear the rest of the day.

I also had a chat with Ty on Nov. 1st about all the little things that are going through my mind about him becoming bishop. I have been having little promptings for the past few weeks and I finally had to give a voice to them and talk them out. I have felt like I need to do better with reading my scriptures. I have felt that we really do need to be having family prayer. I have been thinking about my ward members differently. Ty and I's relationship has been on a different platform lately too. I feel closer to him than I have in a while. We seem more in tune with one another.  What really spiked the conversation is sunday morning we had a come follow me lesson on what the bishop does and what his responsibilities are. I had an impression that ty follows all those things. Once I told him these things, he admitted that he has been having little thoughts come about too. He has brushed them aside thinking that it was him being prideful because we do know that a new bishop is going to be called soon. But with both of us having these thoughts and not talking about them till now I do feel like a change is coming. I don't know if it will be him as the bishop or maybe just in the bishopric. I don't feel like these feelings are coincidence though. Nothing from Heavenly Father is a coincidence. Time will only tell. I wanted a place I could write my feelings down about it though because I feel like it will be important for me to look back on these feelings some day. We don't know if it Heavenly Father opening the door just a little bit at a time for us so we aren't taken off guard when it opens all the way, or what these feelings are for.

Day 18.. Nov 4. Understand grace

The invitation... read Ether 12 and look for the blessings.

The journey.. remember, grace comes after all you can do. Take time today to analyze a trying situation in your life. After you have done all that you can do, place it at the feet of the Lord. Keep a written record of the greater things, and the unspeakable gifts that will come as He leads you to the promise.

As of right now, I can't really think of a trying situation that I'm going through right this moment. But I have definitely gone through some trying moments in the past year. I have gone through some hard things with my mom the past couple years. We have had some pretty major fights that have ended up with both of our feelings being hurt and not talking to one another. It takes me a little less time than her to heal. I find that I analyze my feelings about why I was hurt by either her actions or words. I talk them out with Ty and then I am able to start my healing process. A lot of the time I have to give it over to the Lord to let her heart heal too and that hopefully He can be the one to soften it. After some time it is softened and we get back to where we can be ok again. It is hard though because we never really talk about the problem. I would like to talk about it, but she doesn't like to. I have to rely on the the mercy of Him and hope that He can prick her heart. Most of the time it does work. His mercy is great.

Day 19.. Nov. 5.. seek

The invitation.. read the account of Mary Magdalene in John 20:1-18

The Journey.. Examine your life. What is your greatest need? Sometime Today find a way to see the Lord. Find in Christ the answers you long for. Dare to reach a new level of understanding.

Without knowing what today's journey was I realized I already fulfilled today's journey first thing this morning. After writing down my feelings yesterday about the whole bishop thing. I had an urgency about needing to get to the temple. I asked a friend if she would baby-sit my girls sometime this week. She said she would, but then never got back to me about when was a good time for her. Last night as I was getting ready for bed I told Ty I need to go to the temple in the morning. He said ok get it done! I asked my mom if she wanted to go with me and she said she would love to. So at 6:45 this morning we walked into the temple to do initiatory. We then went to the celestial room to sit, ponder, and talk. We talked for 45 min was sitting in there. I had an desire to know if what I have been feeling about Ty and being bishop was real inspiration, or if it was just my mind doing the thinking. I knew I would find peace in the temple, and I knew he would answer my earnest prayer while there. I did get the confirmation that a change is coming. I do feel like he will be bishop someday. Whether that is now or later will make the difference. I was able to talk to my mom about some of my thoughts and feelings. She said she felt that a change was coming about a month before my dad was called as bishop. It was nice to talk through things with someone that has gone through it before. I knew I could go to the temple to receive my own personal revelation. As well as feel of the love that they have for me. It was nice to know that I was seeking in the right places.

Day 20 Nov. 7 Abide

The invitation... read the account of the disciples walking on the road to Emmaus, found in Luke 24:13-32.

The journey.. Learn to use the scriptures to receive personal revelation from the Lord. Take some time today to find a scripture that speaks to you. Let His Spirit abide in your heart by reflecting on that scripture throughout the day.

I was listening to the scriptures today and also pondering what my favorite scripture was. I was listening to when Abinadi went before King Noah and how hard that must have been to stand before all these wicked people and tell them they are doing wrong. He ended up burning at the stake because they didn't want to hear his words. I thought about that. How much he must have known that Christ would come and that he wanted the people to live the higher law. How often do we hear the words of our church leaders and don't think we need it or we think we are living just fine. Our leaders are wanting us to live the higher law as well. I loved today's journey to have the scriptures not far from our mind today. Pondering all those verses and stories that make your stop and think about what they mean took me to a better place today

Day 21 Nov. 12. Remember

The invitation.. Read the story of Joshua and the crossing of the river Jordan in Joshua 3 and 4.

The journey.. Either figuratively or literally, gather twelve stones. Assign each stone to represent a blessing that you have recognized in your journey toward Christ. Share these blessings with your family. Testify how you are coming know the Healer, the Master, the Son of God, even Jesus Chris. What are the stories you can tell about how He has strengthened, enlightened, comforted, or otherwise blessed you?

I was a little reluctant in reading this last day because I wasn't quite ready for it to be over. This little journey has helped me a lot in recognizing what strengths in my testimony I have and what weaknesses.

The 12 blessings I recognize are..
1. My membership in the church
2. My eternal marriage
3. My family
4. My testimony
5. My talent of charity
6. That I am able to go to the temple, and that there is one nearby.
7. The gift of the Holy Ghost
8. The gift of choice.
9. The health of me and my family
10. The ability to read, write, learn.
11. The blessing of stability because of how hard my husband works.
12. The scriptures

I could go through each of these blessings and can name an event that has helped strengthen that testimony.

I have seen family and friends choose to leave the church. It hurts my heart to hear of the reasons why they do. I am grateful that Ty and I had no other plans to get married rather than in the temple. It has been so comforting to know we did it that way. My family has proven that they may have their own trials going on but that when we need them they will be there. I have been able to recall certain times in which my testimony has grown and I have been able to share them with others throughout the years. I love being able to help people, it makes me feel Christlike. I have received so  many promptings and comforting witnesses while I have been in the temple. Like knowing that I need to have another baby, that Ty and I were going to move, that friends and family going through hard times would be comforted. The Holy Ghost gives us promptings and sometimes we don't recognize that he is there. Like the time I felt like I needed to tell Addi that she could call home whenever and I would come get her no questions asked. And she did end up calling me because there were just too many people. The gift of choice let's us choose daily if we are going choose right or wrong. We are always blessed when we choose the right. Like when we pay extra in fast offerings, we always feel better when we do. My health and my families health I sometimes take for granted. Until one of us is sick. I also see all the debilitating sicknesses that we could have and I'm grateful right now that we don't have those. My ability to read, write, and learn is something that I use everyday. The way we can expand our minds is truly amazing. I am up to 168 books this year. I am grateful that we don't have to worry about where our next paycheck is coming from. I am grateful that I can go to store and buy groceries when we need them. I am grateful for a safe car to drive. These are all things that we pay for because of Ty's job. The scriptures teach us things that we should be doing to see signs of Christ and also things that will lead us to Christ. I have loved listening to them each day.

This book has shown me that Christ is never far away from anything we do. He is always there waiting and loving us. He shows us mercy, patience, and love all the time. What if we all treated each other the same way? It would change the world. That is why his message is the good news because it can truly make us happy and show us eternal life.